i got asked to leave a school-wide meeting today in the Gym. It was the "hello!" ceremony for the new first years at the middle school. It was almost all done with when the new English teacher walks over and asks me if "wouldnt you like to leave right now?" I was like "well, no, not really. Its not done yet." So she basically asked me to leave and she came with me. She was simply the messenger, because aparently one of the teachers, whose new duty is now the "diciplinarian" was going to give a razing speech to the 2nd and third years, probably along the lines of "dont harrass the new students". For some reason he asked the new English teacher to ask me to leave the auditorium for this portion of the events.
I asked her why did I have to leave and I didnt get a strait answer, ever. I asked her if he (the teacher) would have been embarrassed or something had I been there while he was razing the kids. She assured me that wasnt the case. She just said that he had thought it would have been too "boring" to sit through, and "would you please like to leave now?".
I dont get it. It then occured to me that maybe they wanted me out because they were going to talk about me or something, which started to make me mad. I asked her if that was the case and she again said "oh, no, not at all not at all". So I really have no idea.
but what it comes down to is that I am constantly and forever treated like an outsider and a guest. Even after 8 months, I am still "different", on a fundamental basis. like it is litterally impossible for me to be accepted. Like I have to be shielded or something. If this was 2 weeks after I had first arrived, yeah OK I would understand. But now? Its just plain stupid and insulting. I am sure the teacher had the best of intentions, but it had the exact opposite effect when I was litterally ushered out in front of everyone, simply because I'm "the guest".
it is monumentaly frustrating.
good thing I have kendo tonight.
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3 comments:
Hey, I understand your feelings of exclusion up there. Even after 3 years, I felt that there were parts of Haboro society/culture into which I was never fully accepted. Keep in mind, though, this is not necessarily a bad thing. It allows you to retain your own identity and to become part of an even more exclusive world of foreigners who live and survive in rural Japan. Also, teachers work, eat, smoke, occasionally sleep--basically they live--in the school. Most of them are great people since after all that's the nature of the profession. For a while I thought it would be great to be seen as part of this circle, but I came to realize that that kind of life would drive me insane. Hope this all didn't seem to wishy-washy...
hey jesse! this thing is great! i love your stories and your pictures. i want to write to you more but im really tired right now so i wont... but thanks for all the stories:)
Tash
Jess,
You must feel like the only kid to show up for the Prom without a date!
It feels really wierd when you are the brunt of a culture clash. Just remember that it was probably a matter of honor (or something just as crazy) for you to hear him chastizing the younguns.
Don't take it too personally. Remember, they don't look at things like honor and treatment of guests the same way you or I do.
I think the difference is the lack of immigration in Japan. They see so little of foreigners that you will never actually lose that status. Coming from the US, we have a very different outlook. If you have someone move in next door from another country, you make a big deal of it. After a couple of weeks, it is just your neighbor. The reason this happens is because we have much more exposure to people of foreign nationalities.
Just my 2 cents.
--R
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