I dont even know where to start -- its been 359827359873248752345 since i updated this blog. If you are still watching, thanks for sticking around. So whats new?
Kendo Test!
On July 8th I not only turned 26 but also became a "Ni-Dan" in Kendo (2nd degree "black) The test was hard. After it was over, I remembered thinking that it was just like the old Karate tournaments I used to have. I would get really nervous and then when it was my turn to go up, my mind would kind of blank and i would just "do it" and then when it was over, it was like almost coming out of a dream and I couldnt remember everything I had done.
Especially with the forms. Anyways this test was almost the same way, but I was much more nervous. Something about being in Japan, amidst 150 other candiates for rank, being only one of two white people testing...the pressure is on to perform.
I got up at 6am with Jim and we drove down south to pick up Oliver who was testing too. We then drove further south down to Rumoi, a town an hour from Haboro (my town). We got there around 8 but check-in for the test didnt open till 8:30, so we began what was going to be a long, long, long waiting game.
"hurry up and wait" was the theme of the day I believe.
I was really suprised and happy to see that Sakuma Sensei, my first sensei, had also come down from Haboro to watch the test. She is probably in her 70s but is genki enough to be a 20 year old. She saw me, called me over and gave me a big hug and then, not missing a beat, smacked me on the head and told me to remember to extend my arms when i strike. It was great.
We all gathered in the gym around 9. There were over 60 people testing for Shodan (1st degree), about 40 testing for Ni-dan and 20 or so for San-dan.
We lined up and bowed in, told to sit while formal greetings and speeches ensued.
You gotta hand it to the Japanese, no stone is left unturned when it comes to an "event", and "event" is such a broadly defined word that you will often find people standing at attention and bowing in, recieving speeches and knoding solemly at such formal proceedings as:
* planting a row of flowers
* collecting garbage around town
* cleaning a room (any room)
* getting in a car to go somewhere
* Kendo test
After speeches and such they pulled up two poor kids who were testing that day to demonstrate in front of everyone the correct procedure for the first half of the test.
The second half of the test is just Kata. (a pre-described routine)
I felt bad for the kids because their demostration was the exact opposite of everything my senseis have been telling me for the past 5-odd months. This feeling had a side effect of making me more nervous.
Clock read 9:30 and the test has now begun. Starting with the canidates for Shodan and working up to the Sandans, testees are brought up in front of the Judges and asked to perform a series of drills and sparing. There are five judges, and as soon as your turn is over you change sides, and "receive" for the next person. Once that is done you are officially done with the first portion of the test.
All in all the first half of the test takes about 2 minutes per person. I was at the middle of the Nidan canidates group, which meant that from 9:30 till about 11:45 I could do doing but wait, as all the Shodans and then half of the Ni-dans had to go before me.
Once the Shodans finished there was a break and then the Ni-dans were called down to the floor. We sat down according to number (I was number 21, i think. I dont remember lol) and the Ni-dan test began. Slowly the number of the person doing the drills began to creep higher and higher and before i knew it, I was putting on my men (head armor), standing up and getting in the 5 person queue. Do or die.
Finally it was my turn to take the floor. I walked to the ring, bowed, stepped in (one, two, three steps) drew my shinai and sank to sankyou position (a kind of squat). I remember at this point feeling like I had an endless amount of power, boiling up from my belly. All the nervousness, all the lethargy from waiting, all the second guessing had done before the test vanished; it was like it was never even there to begin with. There was no longer any other option than to succeed. I didn't even think about it, I just let it happen. I remember the first Kiai (spirited shout) that I screamed being so loud that in some vauge part of my subconcious, I was shocked that was my own voice.
"Hajime!" (Begin!) called the judge, and i dont remember the rest.
Looking back at the video, I can't help but shake my head at all the things I had done wrong, but I must say that I was happy and proud of my performance. I did my best, and it was enough. On that alone I would be proud. When you work a long time to achieve something, the end, as sweet as it maybe, loses something in the anticipation of it. After the test was over and we were driving home, all I coudl think about was how eternally greatful I was to my senseis and fellow students, and to my town, for giving me the chance of a lifetime, to fufill my selfish dream -- and in the end its not the dream that matters, (because its already been more than fuffiled!) but the journey that got you there.
Around 12:30ish the San-dan candidates had finsihed and we had a 45 minute break for lunch. I was actually hungry and inhaled some onigiri (delicious.) Then it was back to the floor for more waiting as the the Shodans did their Kata.
Ni-dans get called up next and by sheer luck my number was at the end of the row, which places me and my partener RIGHT in front of the Judges. I was stoked because it meant I could be well observed. If the pressure is on, I like it on 110%. There is no going back so you might as well light your hair on fire.
Kendo no Kata (forms) are done in pairs. Each pair has a different role, and at the Ni-dan rank, actual technique is assumed to me mastered. Judges want to see that you are embodying your role correctly in the forms. There is interplay here between you and the partenter...one is the sensei and one is the student...one loses all the matches and one wins all the matches. So, in a form that allows no deviation and absolutely no self-styling, how do you distinquish your Kata from others? Well, thats the heart of "Fighting Spirit"
I made a mistake, or maybe she did, my partner. We were in the middle of the 3rd Kata (there are 7 total). I was suppose to block her incoming strike. I went to deflect her blade so I brought mine up to center-line and hit nothing but air -- either she had turned her strike too early simulate my block, or I had been too slow. It didnt really matter...the fact was that there was a mistake made and i was the "Uchi-tachi" (the "sensei" side of the form). So we completed the kata and I stopped, raised my hand said my number, asked to me given a second chance.
The judges knodded and we did it again; the rest of the 20 or so people doing the forms with us simultaneously had to wait. It was more or less flawless the 2nd time -- she did an excellent thrust with perfect timing that i was able to deflect with a resounding "thwack!".
You are allowed one mistake in Kata. If you make a second one, you will fail. You must also call out your mistake if one is made, otherwise you will fail on that point. So it's a bit of a mind game, because there are over 20 people doing it all at once. Do you call out a tiny mistake you made, or hope that it went un-noticed?
Being in front of the judges, I had no choice :P
Everyone had finsihed by 2:00ish, and the results were announced almost immediatly.
We were all called down to the floor, all 150 of us and linded up according to rank canidacy and number. Then the judges came up to the front and explained the results: If your number was on the big piece of stock paper about to be held up high, you passed. If there was a blue triangle around your number, you had a mistake or error that the judges wanted to confer with you about. If your number did not appear on the sheet, better luck next year.
For all my self-confidence I had durring the test, it was worth nothing sitting there waiting for the results. I was starting to get really nervous...I wonder if my blantant mistake in Kata cost me my margine of safety...did I make another mistake? It was good that I had already forgoton everything.
Suddenly the judge up front stopped talking, and the people holding the big huge peices of paper flung there hands up and un-rolled the results.
I started to frantically read the numbers....28, 26, 19, 20.....
23!!!!!!!!!!!
I almost jumped onto the person in front of me, my highschool student. Everyone was cheering and clapping and he turned around and said "Omedetou!" (congradulations!)
"Did you pass too??"
"Yeah, look!"
at that point everyone was crowding around the judges, laughing, congradulating and slapping each other on the back, ripping off their number stickers and pasting them onto the sempai (the older students)...it was great.
After everyone sobbered up a bit a calmed down, we places our name cards over our number on the giant sheet. They were rolled up and collected. We lined up again, had closing ceremonies and then bowed out. I had walked into the gym a Shodan and left a Ni-dan. We were done!
The pass rate was very high -- I think 93% of all the canidates past. Out of the girls who tested, 100% passed. That was very cool. The girls were getting everyone coming up to them and saying "congradulations!" because if you saw a girl you knew they passed. It was great.
I was bascially useless the rest of the day because I was so mentally and physically tired. While the actual test probably totaled no more than 5 minutes of actually doing stuff, it had been a 7 hour ordeal, the hardest part being the test inside your head of course. It doesn't exactally get easier with time...even though I tell myself over and over that its not as bad as when I test for my Shodan in Karate, pressure is pressure. The will to succeed and do your best demands the same.
Okay, enough rambling, here is the video!
I am on the left to begin with, then olie comes next. enjoy!
--
JB
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